Shy bladder in hospital: peeing after surgery and anesthesia

I’ve had a shy bladder for years, and hospitals are near the top of my list of nightmares, right next to planes. Both feel like a trap. Once you’re in, there’s no Plan B and no door you can simply walk out of.

So when I needed surgery this autumn, I was dreading it weeks ahead. What I hadn’t planned for was the afterwards. The anesthesia left me foggy, and my bladder seemed to have gone on strike.

What I had going in

A few weeks before, I’d started seeing a psychiatrist. He gave me an anxiety medicine and an antidepressant. I think the anxiety one helps a little, like walking with a crutch. It makes trying feel slightly less impossible, though I can’t say how much it did on the ward.

Trying again and again

I went to the toilet many times that night and the next morning. The corridor smelled of disinfectant, a trolley rattled past, and even with the door locked I couldn’t pee when someone was near, knowing a nurse was just outside. Nothing came.

What finally worked was distraction, two kinds of it. I put in my earbuds, loud enough to fill my head but not too loud, and played people speaking a language I couldn’t understand. Then I watched short videos of people’s faces and just studied their expressions. Somewhere in there I stopped thinking about peeing, and it happened.

It took a lot of trips, though. It wasn’t smooth and it wasn’t quick.

Where I am now

I know these tricks are very personal. If they help someone else, good. My psychiatrist says we might try self-hypnosis or other techniques later, so I’m still near the start. But I got through a hospital stay, and a few months ago I wouldn’t have believed that.