Does my teenage son have a shy bladder? What I'm noticing

A few months ago my son started getting sent home from school because he couldn’t manage a wee there. I assumed a urine infection and took him to the doctor, but everything came back normal. I was relieved, and also left with no explanation.

Then the summer holidays came and I let myself hope it had just faded. We were home most days, so I didn’t think about it much. But when we go out, not every time, he says he needs the toilet, goes in, and comes back saying he couldn’t go. Lately I’ve started to wonder if he has a shy bladder.

The café last week

We stopped for lunch and he headed off to the loo with a determined look. I sat there with the smell of toast and coffee, watching the door. He was back in under a minute, shrugged, and picked up his drink. He didn’t seem upset, which somehow bothered me more.

Then we walked back to the car and he talked about football the whole way, like nothing had happened.

What I don’t know

My guess is he’s got really anxious about using public toilets, maybe because of how the school stuff went. I could be wrong. He hasn’t said a word about it and I haven’t asked, and I’m not sure which of us is avoiding it.

Part of me wants to sit him down and talk it through. The other part worries a big chat will turn every toilet into a test. I don’t want to hand him a label he hasn’t asked for either, and he’s thirteen, so a talk with his mum about his bladder isn’t going to be his favourite thing.

So for now I’m watching and reading, and feeling a bit useless outside the toilets. I still haven’t found the first sentence.